[h2.]

I drove my first hummer on Friday..

Mmmm.. :) True, the domesticated hummer may not be as awesome as the real ones overseas, but I love the deep growl of my baby. Haha! And Mr. Rummel found out that I like to drive his h2, so he had me valet it three times yesterday. "You can take it around Coeur d'Alene, if you want." Dang, I wish he was serious. People make fun of me for the stupid grin I always have on my face when I finish taking that huge hunk of metal around the lot. I can't help it. :D

Oh, and Rachael, I made sure I drove an Impala for you yesterday.

On a more serious note..

"You're mean. You are MEAN. Your words cut like a knife--you leave people with wounds and impressions that will stick with them for a lifetime. And the most amazing thing about it is.. You don't even notice."

I remember a time where I couldn't bear to utter a slightly negative word to or around a person, worried that I might hurt their feelings. How did I become so callous? Some people tell me that it's spine. I think I'm losing heart.

Can your soul die while you're still alive? I'm not trying to be "emo," here.. :) I mean, maybe it can die, but I believe it can be revived. Thing is, I've often reached the point in my spiritual life where I don't even want to try to search for restoration anymore--I feel nothing, and my hunger for being a part of Something greater than myself is lost.

Yet it comes back. I can't live like that forever. I mean.. "He has set eternity in the hearts of men." [Eccl. 3:11] It's built into me, I'll always want something more. And I don't want to let that desire fade back into the drudgery of mediocre living anymore.

No, I don't want to. So why is it still so easy to do?