[all these things should make me happy..]

The three of us lay in the grass, trying to soak in the rays of a sun that pretended to be absent.

For the first time in a very long while, I found myself voicing the thoughts of my aching and discontented heart to two very dear friends. Thoughts on how ironic it was that, as I so adamantly chased after the things I enjoyed, I found myself empty and wanting for more than what I was able to touch at the moment.

[level 2.]

So I almost left JBU yesterday.

And now I'm driving to Little Rock tomorrow to see the governor of Arkansas.

When I get back, it's going to be hard. I will be seeing a counselor, I will be accountable to my professors, I will be down one job, and I will have a million more things to do for SGA.

I've decided that I'm scared of seeking help because I know it means I have to make a change.

Funny how hard it is to give up a lifestyle that makes you hate yourself.

[oh, pepe.]

And now for a little treat from a friend,
Pepe "Shakes it Betta' than Beyoncee" Lopez.

[treat.]

[valet, do you copy?]

Here are a few people from my summer valeting in Coeur d'Alene.. I regret not taking any more pictures than this, but you can't go back in time, right..

This is Travis, my boss.

The nazi.

I forget how many years he's been doing this,
but it was long enough to teach me how to screw up the least. ;)

This is a terrible picture of Craig.
The wigga.
"Playa' don' play dat way!"
I still need to send you that book.

Here are Jackson and Eric.
Cart Barn.
Like they really do any work.
Psh. :D

This fellow is Jesse.
After about a week of working together,
Jesse and I found out that we went to the same Bible school in Germany.
Bodenseehof.
CREEP OUT. :D

Then there's Jake, whose picture turned out way too bad for me to post. That kid was a fun one to work with. :) If you ever take the time to read this, Jake, I hope you're behaving yourself. [AHEM.] Keep on having those philosophical talks with Craig. ;) And keep him AWAY from my board, dangit!!! :D

[20.]

Today I found a new favourite quote.

"I'm way too cool to look at you, and you're way too pathetic to not look at me."

--Barbara Kruger

[Yes. It is taken out of context. But I can do that, cuz I'm bo-sseh!]

[seattle.]

Here are a couple of pictures from the Seattle trip that Derek, Sarah, Jeremy, and I took the other day. Yes, these are a sad summary--I will add better pictures when Derek sends them to me.

Since he was the only one with a real camera.

But go ahead--indulge yourself.. Take a look at what I have so far. Disclaimer: Some of these pictures may be slightly ridiculous. I'm sure that you'd expect nothing less from me. I have to say that I really enjoyed myself and am grateful to have friends like Derek and Sarah and to make new friends like dear Jeremy here. :)

The Road Ahead.

The Daring Driver.

The Children.

All That You Need. Right There. In the Passenger's Seat.

Seattle has many hills. Here we are, walking down one.

Yes, we did have Starbucks Coffee from the original Starbucks.. And yes, we do like the feel of the wind blowing through our hair as we gaze over the sweet harbor that you cannot see in this picture. [Side Note: I have noticed that I have a tendency to "crane" my neck in pictures. Eg: Below. This must stop.]


That was a long caption. Moving along..


An Attempt at Capturing the Seattle Skyline at Night.

Eating Salmon N' Chips.

More Eating.

And that's all for now.. Stay tuned.. :D

[if i just lay here..]

Let's see.. I closed by myself tonight--it was a slow one. As I stood watching the sun set over the hills, I remembered something..

There once was a little girl, who lived on a farm with her Grandma and Grandpa.

One night, she sat outside in the middle of a field, digging her bare toes into the dirt and feeling a little lonely.

She lay back on the ground, gazing up to see that she was surrounded by stars.

In that moment, she forgot about college, about boys, about work, and money, and what she should do, and where she should live..

And for once she felt..

Safe.

Mmm.. I'm going stargazing. :)